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the only times in life i’ve ever had mayo:

hayazaki-iroke:

porcelain-horse-horselain:

porcelain-horse-horselain:

  • when there’s accidentally a little on my sandwich even tho i asked for it not to be, but i’m shy and don’t like to bug food service employees, so i’ll just scrape off as much as possible.
  • as an ingredient in salad dressing or deviled eggs

i seriously can’t even imagine anyone just putting straightup mayo on something as a condiment. 

wasabi or horseradish: yes
any type of mustard: yes
BBQ sauce: idk maybe
sriracha: All of it, always!!!
mayonnaise: DEAR LORD NO why the fuck would i want to ruin my perfectly good food by smearing it with flavorless, textureless SNOT??

But, but… Mayo GOOD! It might be my Dutch-ness, but seriously, mayo owns all. Then again, we have a tooon of different types of mayo (and fritesaus, which is a variant). Like seriously, belgium fries withOUT mayo?! How?!

I googled fritesaus “like mayo but sweeter!” and I apologize to you and your Dutchness, but that just sounds sooooo naaaaaasty to me!
However, google was like “people who searched for fritesaus also searched for curry ketchup” and yes, let me tell you, curry ketchup stands for all the things I stand for in life.
I’m going to need to google a good recipe for that stuff and cook it up on some seitan beer brats… yesssssss!!!!
(We shall never see eye to eye on mayo though. Not in a million years.)

#food #curry ketchup #currywurst


my fucking hamster keeps doing monkey-bars on the ceiling of her cage and dropping herself into her waterbowl

why the fuck do i even have a pet hamster god damn it

the only times in life i’ve ever had mayo:

porcelain-horse-horselain:

  • when there’s accidentally a little on my sandwich even tho i asked for it not to be, but i’m shy and don’t like to bug food service employees, so i’ll just scrape off as much as possible.
  • as an ingredient in salad dressing or deviled eggs

i seriously can’t even imagine anyone just putting straightup mayo on something as a condiment. 

wasabi or horseradish: yes
any type of mustard: yes
BBQ sauce: idk maybe
sriracha: All of it, always!!!
mayonnaise: DEAR LORD NO why the fuck would i want to ruin my perfectly good food by smearing it with flavorless, textureless SNOT??

#mayonnaise #mayo #food


the only times in life i’ve ever had mayo:

  • when there’s accidentally a little on my sandwich even tho i asked for it not to be, but i’m shy and don’t like to bug food service employees, so i’ll just scrape off as much as possible.
  • as an ingredient in salad dressing or deviled eggs
#food #mayo #mayonnaise #deviled eggs


#long post


#fuck the police


I’m up at 4:50am making trash tweets about how weirdly common the name “Smith” is.

I’m up at 4:50am making trash tweets about how weirdly common the name “Smith” is.

slinkster-cool:

upwiththekai:

hokuto-ju-no-ken:

miidoriilol:

grandmasterbooty:

mooxy0u:

milkanclcookies:

this makes me so happy

HAS IT REALLY BEEN THAT LONG

numa numa era classic

lmao the kid in red cant even keep up with how nerdy he was as a child. dude in black is on point tho.

well holy shit

THIS VIDEO IS BLOCKED IN MY COUNTRY AND I AM SO ANGRY.

jesus I am getting old

thalassiq:

looking for: someone with a lot of money whose parents are nagging them to get married but they dont want that kind of emotional commitment. i will be your spouse and you can cheat on me whenever you want i dont even care. you can have an orgy in our bedroom. just leave me your credit card and buy me a corvette. i feel like this is a fair transaction.

#THIS YES


cakeandrevolution asked: Would you settle for 31 and a not terribly squeaky voice? :p Charlie Day is pretty damn adorable though.

he is the adorablest! he is so adorable, i don’t even think it’s legal

i have no idea why, because i definitely don’t usually have a “type” but if i did, i really doubt it would actually not be scruffy lil squeaky tums

can we please make “one week” by barenaked ladies the new rick roll?

porcelain-horse-horselain:

We’ve been doing the rick roll for like a decade now

and i’m not saying to fully replace it

but think of the hilariousness of sending someone a link like

"omg the dubbed SNK theme music has been released!!!!"

and they click on it and just

IIIIIIT’S BEEN

JUST START DOING IT, IT’LL CATCH ON

it’ll be called…

week roll? barenaked roll?

someone help me think of a name this is important

please deliver to my house

a tiny little scruffy 38y/o man with a squeaky voice and a tum-tum

thank u
goodbye

#why is charlie day my ideal man #i make no sense #i am trash


helenlavoie:

Cute Charlie Kelly screengrab #68High School Reunion edition

i can’t actually point out a specific feature i find attractive on this man
and yet i just know in my heart, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is the most attractive man
someone do the math for me, i can’t figure it out

helenlavoie:

Cute Charlie Kelly screengrab #68
High School Reunion edition

i can’t actually point out a specific feature i find attractive on this man

and yet i just know in my heart, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is the most attractive man

someone do the math for me, i can’t figure it out

#charlie day #charlie kelly


rock-flag-and-jerkface I only noticed after I reblogged that “netflix as a dating site” post that you are the person I reblogged it from, and then I laughed even hard… because it would be like “Jerkface, meet Porcelain. You have both watched every single episode of Always Sunny at least a dozen times.”

#rock-flag-and-jerkface #rock flag and jerkface #rockflagandjerkface #WHAT IS UR TRACKED TAG